waiting

my science co-teacher is a really sweet, but quirky, guy old enough to be my dad.  when i reminded him today that i would be out tomorrow for the big appointment, he asked if he could ask me something.

“why are you doing this now?  why not wait until you’re tenured?”

being nontenured is adding quite a bit of stress to the equation.  absences are factored into our evaluations now.  and no one is going to really like me taking off time to get pregnant, just to take maternity leave in the future.

i rambled on a bit, but the basic points i made:

  • with budget cuts, even being tenured doesn’t mean job security.  right now, i have a great income and great insurance.  i need to take advantage of that
  • i don’t want to sacrifice my family, and it’s beginning to feel like my happiness, for my job.  it’s a great job, and i absolutely love it, but it’s not worth that
  • if ivf doesn’t work, i estimate it would take us about a year to exhaust our insurance coverage for it.  if we move to adoption after that, most of the local places i’ve looked at briefly have an average of a two year wait.  three years seems so long when we’ve already been waiting and hoping
  • the plan was always to get tenured first then have kids.  and then i lost my first job after my second year.  i know i rock and all, but there is no guarantee i will get tenured.  should i wait another three years?

i know impatience isn’t infertility.  but we’re ready.  we’ve been ready.  and we don’t want to wait anymore.  and if this is a risk, it’s a risk we’re willing to take.

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