is it time to breakup?

we’ve been going back and forth lately about what we want to do next.  we are extremely fortunate to live in a state that requires mandatory coverage for infertility (and fortunate that my district doesn’t use one the many loopholes to get around it), and have three more retrievals left.

i’m sure we’ll get more information on wednesday at our WTF appointment, but so far we know that the general consensus at the clinic is that i overstimmed and the three frosties we have left are not the best quality.  they are going to recommend another fresh cycle rather than a frozen one.  and one thing i know without a doubt is that i can no longer just trust everything that i am told by the professionals we have been working with.  this whole thing is stressful enough without having to second-guess everything we are told (not that i will stop, of course).  there have been so many little issues and concerns along the way – although nothing that i think could have caused the cycle to fail – that we will not be cycling with Dr. Derman again.

but deciding that we won’t stay with Dr. Derman is only half the problem.  i’ve been researching stats and clinics since the night they called with the bad news.  there is a clinic in philly with good stats that has an office not too far from our house, although it would not be possible to get in and out of there before school during monitoring. which would mean waiting until the summer to cycle with them.  i hadn’t been able to find anything else convenient, until a co-worker told me that the clinic she used has a local office that is right on the way to work!  i used to actually live a block away from it, but never noticed what the building was for.  i looked up the stats (which i should say, i know they can be skewed and may not be accurate, but they give a clueless girl something to go on) and even though they aren’t as high as the philly clinic, they are much higher than my current clinic, Princeton IVF.

but what really sealed the deal was listening to my colleague J talk about her experience with them.  she and her wife have both cycled with the clinic, and have two beautiful children to show for it.  they have been with them for five years (and obsessively researched before picking them, unlike moi), through both good and bad, and will most likely be returning again sometime in the future.  i listened for almost an hour and she raved about everything they had ever done for her and her family.  when i talked about my concerns with my current clinic, she understood and said that she has never questioned a decision that her doctor made.

now i’m going to try and be good and not get too excited and just rush in to a rebound relationship with this new clinic.  i think we will make an appointment with each one and interview.  but a wonderful recommendation from someone i trust + being able to cycle during the school year = major points in my book.  and buddha love him, R gets that i’m the one who obsessives about all this and has to actually interact with the doctors 95% of the time, so this is totally my decision. but honestly, i am feeling more optimistic right now than i have since we started TTC almost two years ago.  it’s a nice feeling.


2 thoughts on “is it time to breakup?

  1. I agree. Rave reviews from someone who’s worked with them before definitely helps in the decision-making. But I think you’re right to interview both, just to be sure about what you’re getting into. Good luck!

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