man, oh man, have i missed you.
i’m not a religious person or anything, but maybe they would have been able to have a kid of their own if they weren’t so evil.
so that happened. not exactly a comment i expected to hear at work last week. honestly, i don’t think i’ve ever heard someone say that out loud before. read it online, heard stories of some asshole saying it aloud, but never in real life.
and i totally wasn’t expecting my reaction to the comment: i felt like someone had punched me in the gut. i looked down, fascinated by the spreadsheet in front of me. i could feel my eye welling up, my cheeks burning. i found myself suddenly hyperaware of everyone around me – did they hear her say that? did it register to anyone but me? could they tell how upset i was becoming? my mind started racing with comebacks
ok, maybe that initial, involuntary reaction wasn’t so unexpected. but the thought-out, completely voluntary one that came next…
i said nothing. just kept doing what needed doing in the meeting, counting down the minutes until the period ended and i could teach my class. but i didn’t say a thing.
not. a. thing.
and i am so, so pissed at myself. embarrassed. ashamed. i can shout from the rooftops about our struggles. spill my guts to anyone i meet. tell my representatives about IF and ask for their support.
but i sat, silent, while some stupid twit at work opened her big fat mouth.