i have to give Dr. Derman credit: within a few hours of sending that email (on sunday night) he had replied, and one of the nurses called at 7 am to tell me a copy was waiting for me at the desk. without further ado, my embryologist’s report:
R and i have decided that we will no longer be working with our initial clinic, Princeton IVF. in order to help other make an informed decision, i am going to write up a post explaining our concerns that led us to this decision (and i am going back through and adding names to help google out). in the meantime though, here is the email that i just sent to my RE:
Dr. Derman,Last week, I requested a copy of my complete file from your office. I have looked through the copies numerous times, and I cannot find any substantial information on the three embryos we had frozen. I have found a few references verifying that there were three that made it to freeze, but I cannot find anything telling me about them.When Hina called on Jan. 5 to tell us the cycle had not worked, she mistakenly said “I see you had nothing left to freeze.” When I told her we had been told there were three left, she said that it looked like a page of the embryologist’s report had not been scanned into my records, and went to find a hard copy. After being put on hold, she said that we had two 7 cells and a 6 cell frozen.When we came in on Jan. 25 to meet with you, you could not find any information about the frozen embryos. You said that it was actually another patient’s report scanned into my file, and left your office to find the hardcopy of my report, but you could not. You were not able to tell us any information about the frozen embryos that your office is storing for us.Based on the comments that both you and Hina made, I believe that there is a report missing from the copy of my file that I received last week. In order for R and I to make a fully informed decision about our next actions, I need all of the information your office has about those three embryos that we had frozen. I would greatly appreciate it if you could have someone from your office contact me and let me when I can pick up a copy of any omitted files.Thank you for your assistance,J & R
it was kind of nice to not be obsessing for the past couple of weeks. i didn’t realize just how stressed i was until i came roaring back last night. i tossed and turned all night, worrying about today’s wtf, and finding a new clinic, and my general un-pregnant-ness. so please forgive the lack of coherent thoughts from today’s appointment. according to Dr. Derman:
so far i’m doing ok. instead of wallowing in self-pity and curling up into the fetal position on the couch – my usual MO when things aren’t going well – i managed to get up and keep myself busy this weekend. after months of various paint samples on the walls of the dinning room, i finally picked up and threw up a couple of coats. it was nice to have something to focus on rather than dwelling on the what-ifs.
“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out”
i went in thursday for my second beta (my clinic doesn’t call until after both), and waited around all day for the call. and then cried
a bit a lot.
i just don’t know what else to say right now.
so that’s it: i’m pregnant until proven otherwise! it hasn’t really sunk in yet, which may not be a bad thing. around 7 am this morning, we transferred 2 embryos: an 8-cell compacting embryo (yay overachiever!) and a 7-cell, grade 1 embryo (even cell division, no fragmentation). Dr. Derman said the compacting embryo was better than they expected on day 3.