not so happy memories

there are sections of our time going through treatments that are a bit of a blur:  the early morning dates with the dildo cam and bloodwork, conversations with the insurance company and pharmacy, nights curled up on the couch crying into my Ben and Jerry’s.

and then there are moments that stand out more clearly.  some happier moments.  some really, really hurtful ones.  and some embarrassing ones. every now and then, some little trigger makes on of those memories come rushing in, taking me back to that place i was in all those years ago, for better or worse.

this morning, one of those triggers turned up working at the local baby superstore when i stopped in to buy a gift for a friend’s baby shower (we’ll chat another time about how baby gift shopping still gives me that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach).  i walked up to the registry desk, and there was one of the sweetest girls i have ever taught behind the counter.  and then it all came flooding back to me.

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